To know or not to know?
Monday 16th of January 2012 | Category: Pregnancy News | Written by: Rosanne MouldingRecently, I’ve noticed one of the first questions fired at a pregnant mother is always: do you know the sex yet? If the answer is no, you can be sure it will be followed with ‘when are you going to find out?’
With all the technology at our disposal nowadays, is it harder to try and go the whole pregnancy without knowing the sex of your baby? And is it right to feel so pressured to find out by those around you?
I spoke to a number of mothers-to-be and first time mothers to get their opinion. One commented that she had decided right from the start to leave the sex of the baby as a surprise so that it would be an extra delight to get her through the birth. Although many people asked her ‘if she was sure’ including the midwife, she didn’t waver and was rewarded with a lovely baby girl at the end of it all. She said she didn’t feel pressured at all by other people’s curiosity, although it did make the temptation harder to resist.
Another mother had decided to find out the sex so that she could be totally prepared for when the baby came. She was told she was expecting a boy and numerous facebook updates, discussions about the name and a blue bedroom later, she finally gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. That was an unintentional surprise, but it meant that she had to start all over again - think about names and take back clothes (although she kept the bedroom blue, she’s a modern woman, after all.)
When you consider this in light of a draft resolution passed by a Council of Europe committee to ban mothers from being told the sex of their baby, it doesn’t seem all that bad. But let’s look at the pros and cons of knowing.
The pros include: being able to better prepare for your baby’s arrival; being able to tell your children whether they will have a brother or sister; having more time to decide on a name ;being able to plan ahead for the future, e.g. will they be able to share a room when they’re older? Cons could include: it’s less of a surprise when you give birth and doctors can sometimes get it wrong, causing extra stress.
The biggest concern for the Council of Europe is that knowing the sex of a child encourages ‘selective aborting’ in countries where having a boy is more desirable than a girl. However, this has never been a problem in the UK so it seems unfair that the ban should be enforced here, taking away the decision from UK parents.
Looking at the pros and cons, it’s very balanced, with the pros slightly in favour of knowing. For many mothers it depends on whether the baby is their first or not. Either way, no one should feel pressured to know or to wait to find out, the sex of their baby. So next time you ask someone else, make sure you offer your support whatever answer they give!
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