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You & Your Body After the Birth

Having Another Baby

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Now that your wonderful little baby is growing up into a beautiful toddler, perhaps you've decided that it's time a little brother or sister came along to expand your family. But what can you expect the second time around and how is your little one likely to react to the news that they will soon be sharing your attention?

The first thoughts on another child

Many women say they never knew what it felt like to experience pure love until they had their baby, so it is perhaps natural to worry that you will never be able to love your second child as much. A common concern for many women who fall pregnant for the second time is that they will always favour their first-born and will not bond with their new baby.

It is also true that becoming a mother for the first time is something that holds a very special kind of magic. But most women who have worried throughout their second pregnancy say that once they saw and held their second-born they wondered why they ever worried. Many women describe it as a love that doesn't halve but doubles.

Jealousy?

Inevitably, your relationship with your first child will change because you will no longer be able to give them your undivided attention so often. However, it is possible to involve your child in the care of the new baby and most children will love to help with a newborn. Even very young toddlers will enjoy helping mummy, while older children will enjoy feeling grown-up in comparison to the new addition.

Jealousy is obviously a concern for many parents and of course, your child may have some worries about a new baby in the house. Some mums buy a small gift for their child 'from the baby'. Helping your child to pick out a present for their sibling in return can help them to feel included.

It is possible to lay the groundwork even earlier by getting your child involved when you are pregnant. Letting your child 'tell' grandparents and friends the news, even if they already know, can be a way of including them in the pregnancy. Reading books which feature brothers and sisters is another way of reinforcing how much fun it will be to have a new addition. While it is perfectly fine to let your little one know that you don't feel very well, be wary of pinning it on your pregnancy as it can lead to your child blaming the baby for making you ill and not having time for them.

Slightly older toddlers will love to hear what they were like when they were tiny babies so taking time to talk about bottles, bottoms and burping will be a good way of preparing them for what life will be like.

Will my pregnancy be the same?

On a more practical level, it is common to subconsciously assume that both pregnancies will be similar and worry about any different experiences you may have. However, just because you got away without any morning sickness the first time around does not mean you will be as lucky with your second pregnancy. And vice versa, if you were as sick as a dog during your first pregnancy, you may find you sail through carrying your second baby. For many women, sickness is not as bad with subsequent pregnancies (but there are always exceptions!).

The way your body reacts to each baby is different and every pregnancy is likely to provide a different experience. However, there are certain things which will not change. Any medical problems you had such as varicose veins, haemorrhoids or incontinence will almost certainly appear again and more serious complications such as gestational diabetes could also recur.

As a general rule, the baby bump tends to appear earlier with later pregnancies than with the first and many women say they are able to feel their baby moving far earlier on. Second babies do tend to be larger than first-borns, but this isn't always the case. Even if your second baby is bigger, the average increase is only 5oz, which will make little difference.

Tiredness can be a real problem for subsequent pregnancies as having to look after one child (or more) while carrying another can be exhausting. However, the same advice applies to second-time mums as first-time mums: nap whenever possible, try and eat small and regular amounts to keep your blood sugar up and accept whatever help is on offer.

Thinking back to your previous labour

As you head towards the end of your pregnancy you will inevitably start to think back on your first experience of childbirth. This can cause you to wonder how different it will be this time around.

For women who had a difficult or traumatic first labour, the thought of going through childbirth again can be daunting. However, by taking some time to think about what went wrong and how you could have improved things, you can write a detailed birth plan to stop the same problems cropping up again.

While every childbirth experience is individual, nearly every woman finds that their second child is much easier to deliver than the first. The early stages of labour tend to proceed far quicker in second pregnancies than in the first and contractions become intense much more quickly. This can catch some women out when they have had to wait around at home for some time during their first labour before the hospital would admit them into the delivery suite, as they assume it will be the same the second time around.

The active phase of labour is also usually much quicker during a second labour. This is because the soft pelvic floor tissues will stretch more easily the second time around, having already been 'broken in' with the first child. The vagina walls are also much more likely to to allow the passage of the baby's head more easily.

Women who previously gave birth by caesarean section are often given the option to have their second baby vaginally, providing the pregnancy has been straight forward and the little one is not lying in a breech position. However, women who previously had a caesarean and want to do so again are often given this option by their obstetricians.

Concerns over giving birth again

The thought of tearing during childbirth is another complication which makes many women wince. For those who have experienced it, the idea of going through it again can be a real deterrent in having more children. However, the good news is that tearing once does not predispose you to tearing in subsequent labours, unless you suffered third or fourth degree lacerations. These are far more serious and extensive type of rips and involve not just the vaginal tissue but also the perineal skin, muscle and possibly even the anal sphincter. Women who have been unlucky enough to experience this will be offered the choice of a caesarean section to avoid exposing themselves to this painful complication again.

Women who tore the first time may find trying to deliver the baby gently and slowly helps to protect the tissue in that area. In addition, carrying out perineal massage in the latter weeks of pregnancy may also help encourage the area to stretch.

For many mums, a second pregnancy and labour is easier than the first. Having been through the experience before, it can be far less nerve wracking and expectant mums who already have children tend to be more relaxed about the whole thing. Being able to share the experience with your toddler and older children, as well as with your partner, can help in the decision to bring another little pair of feet into the family.

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This internet site provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult a doctor or other healthcare professional.