Becoming a mother, again

Like any new mother, I had a rather optimistic vision of how life would change when my first child was born 18 months ago. I imagined hours upon hours of blissful cuddles with my newborn, I was always laughing or smiling when I was with him, and life was a long series of walks to the park and catch ups with other new mums over home baking.

Of course, reality hit. So while there were endless delightful hugs and many hours filled with laughter, there was also sleep deprivation and the emotional rollercoaster. There were too, just like I had imagined, long walks to the park - but these were only because they were the only way I could get my baby to sleep. Similarly, there was plenty of catching up with other new mums, but usually entailing desperate pleas for advice over supermarket-bought biscuits.

Yet somehow, I made it. Like many mothers before me, the shock of life with a newborn gradually eased, I made the transition into my new role, and before I knew it, we were thinking of doing it all again. And so we are. My little boy is a delightful 18-month-old, and he’s about to become a big brother to a little sister.

Becoming a mother again feels, in some ways, very different from the first time. I’m a little more confident, I’ve learnt some coping strategies to help handle the hard times and long nights, but I’m also nervous about managing two little people under two.

Yet overall, I feel my expectations are more realistic, and there’s a few very important lessons I learnt the first time that I’m going to do my best to remember in the wee small hours and when the days seem to go on forever.

Firstly, I’m going to try and trust my instincts more. I remember feeling so overwhelmed by advice from acquaintances, the woman in the supermarket, the books on the shelves, Dr. Google - the list goes on. This time, I’m going to try and do my best to remember that I’ve done this before and I didn’t mess it up terribly. I’m going to listen to the voice inside me and trust it, and I’m going to hold on to the fact that no-one knows my baby better than me.

I’m also determined not to fret too much about the little things. If the house is a mess and we eat take-away for a week while we get settled into our new life as a little family, that’s ok. I’ve learnt that the dusting will wait, but my little babies won’t slow down how quickly they grow up.

And lastly, I’m going to cherish every second. These last 18 months have shown me that babies change in the blink of an eye. As mothers, we are so very, very lucky to have them in our lives. The snuggly cuddles, the middle of the night moments where no-one else seems to exist in the world, the first smiles and words - we don’t get any of it back, and we must make the most of every precious second.

This article is a feature from the MUM.com Trusted Bloggers Club.

About the author

Kiran Chug

Kiran left her job as a senior journalist to become a freelance writer when she had a baby boy in December 2011. She is expecting her second child in July 2013 and plans to get even better at juggling motherhood and writing.

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