Privacy - A Child's Right?

Tuesday 12th of November 2013 | Category: Opinion | Written by: Suzanne Whitton

Have you ever come across the UN Convention's 'Rights of the Child'? It was the first document to attempt to write down the rights of children up to 18 years. We were passed a copy at a parenting course not that long ago and asked to consider which ones we might find difficult to adhere to. The one which stood out for me, was as follows:

'Children have a right to personal privacy, including not having personal letters opened or phone calls listened to

unless the laws allow this'

I wrote a post recently on blogging and children's privacy. In a way, any blogger is potentially breaching a child's right to privacy. I felt somewhat challenged by this concept and over time, have changed the way I blog, considering my child's view point before hitting the 'publish' button. I also discussed with my children, why I blog and asked them what they are and aren't ok with.

My children are of an age when their 'rights' need to be considered, particularly their right to privacy. But where do we start and stop with this?

Personal letters? Of course. Private phone calls? I thinks so. Private diary? Yes. Facebook and text? Not so sure.

The OH and I agree on most things with regard to parenting but this is a subject we hold differing opinions on. He thinks that children automatically have a right to privacy in all areas and I am of the mindset that they need to earn it, certaily with regard to online activity.

My eldest daughter is now 13 and has a Facebook account (I managed to hold off until then!). We set it up together, under the proviso that I have access to her account and that I am her 'friend'. I am unlikely to access her account at anytime as she hardly ever goes on it, but the option is there if I ever feel uneasy about how much time she is spending on it or I am concerned about what is going on (bullying is rife online these days).

When she was 11 we bought her a mobile phone, under the same rules - I have her password. Her sister now has one too, with the same rules applying.

So my question is: Is this fair? Is this breaching a child's 'right to privacy'?

In my opinion it isn't, it is a mum doing her best to protect her child who is not yet old enough to act responsibly and make good decisions when it comes to online activity. Some might argue that if they aren't, they shouldn't have access to it, but they've got to start somewhere haven't they?

The bit I have to wrestle with, is making sure I am retaining some form of control, for the right reasons. Having access to your child's diary/mobile phone/facebook account is a temptation for any parent. You see your child taking another small step towards independence and it can be hard to let go. Part of their life is moving away from yours, they are developing a separate life and they will no doubt have secrets.

When does 'being a responsible parent' become 'being a nosy parent'?

At the age of 17, I used to write a diary, a personal diary which had a lock and key with it. It was my space to write down my thoughts and feelings - private ones. I would have been mortified if my parents had read it! Eventually, I will need to accept that the time has come: my daughter has earnt my trust and now is the time to let go.

Do you think a child has a 'right' to privacy? Do you think this applies to a younger child too? At what age do you think it is healthy to 'let go' and allow more privacy?