Scared of Childbirth?

Friday 5th of April 2013 | Category: Pregnancy News | Written by: Siobhan Thomas

Are you scared of how you're going to cope getting that baby out into the open? You are not alone. In a recent report conducted by Ipsos Mori, 35% of pregnant women cited their greatest fear as being childbirth.

What is it that frightens us?

Pain and complications, these are the two big 'unknowns' of childbirth. We live in an age where we are used to planning and preparing for all eventualities. Being able to tap into Google sweat-inducing questions such as 'common childbirth complications' and 'how much does it hurt' is doing nothing for our nerves.

Of course we all seem to hear 5 horror stories for every positive childbirth tale and I can't remember the last time I saw any media coverage of what straight forward and manageable births are like. If you get your information from films and soap operas you will be preparing yourself for a whole lot of screaming, a ten minute labour and a delivery somewhere dramatic i.e. anywhere but the hospital.

Likewise, the more people you know who have had babies, the more stories you will have heard about pain and difficult labours. The more you hear of these, the harder it can be to recall the experiences of those who had an easier time of it because we somehow start to filter out the less dramatic accounts of childbirth.

Ignorance is Bliss

The IPSOS report suggested that women become more frightened of childbirth the more children they have. This isn't exactly reassuring news for the first time mum-to-be. It suggests that giving birth is worse than you might anticipate when you have no experience to go by. Women have more information (although not all of it sound) at their fingertips today than ever before and it is undoubtedly contributing to their fears.

From a personal point of view I think this newfound knowledge can be a contributing factor to our concerns about childbirth. My own mum was surprised by all the information I was 'armed' with prior to having my first baby. Her first experience of childbirth was different, she was more excited and less afraid than me - but in more shock afterwards. So who was better off? I think that I was - I would rather be able to prepare myself for something difficult because I feel that it will help me to cope better. However, Milli Hill, founder of The Positive Birth Movement, argues that this fear can actually reduce our chances of a good birth experience. She believes that anxiety makes the birth more painful, meaning that we are more likely to feel a loss of control and accept medical interventions that we hadn't planned on using. For me this argument does have some weight. Whilst I was extremely nervous about childbirth I did manage to stay calm. I focussed on the fact that I knew I could do it because, well, if millions of others could then so could I. Previous sports and fitness experiences have helped me to learn the importance of your mental attitude. Whilst I am far from what I think of as a natural athlete or a fitness fanatic, I have reached my own goals so much more easily when I really believed that I could. I am convinced that staying calm helped me to get through the experience of delivering my babies with no pain relief and no complications. (I must point out that having no pain relief is not something I think everyone should aim for, just that in my case I believe it is testimony to the advantages of keeping your cool during labour).

Is One Born Every Minute Making us More or Less Fearful?

One Born Every Minute is a documentary filmed inside a maternity unit to tell the stories of different couples and their birth experiences. It has proved to be an extremely popular programme with many devoted followers (myself included!). People are divided into two camps as to whether it is helpful for expectant mothers to watch it or not. I hear countless people say that they aren't going to watch it because they think it will scare them. However, I have never heard anyone say that, actually having watched it, it did have that effect. On the contrary, it seems to be making women more confident, understanding that everybody's experience is different and that most people do get through it OK.

There are some sad cases with difficult labours or poorly babies - last week's episode with the tragic story of baby Kaiden who passed away was particularly heart breaking. Of course these stories are likely to make us a little more nervous about the outcomes of our births but more often than not, these complications are things which have been picked up earlier in the pregnancy and not the result of a complication during labour. So if you are worried about the pain or dealing with the process of childbirth then I think watching these kind of documentaries can only help you to feel more confident.

Helping to Alleviate Your Fears about Childbirth

Get advice: whether it's through a private antenatal class or one provided by your local surgery, get more information and advice on how to deal with pain during labour.

Work on your relaxation: Yoga is a great way to help you relax and you can find classes designed for pregnancy which will also teach you helpful breathing techniques.

Speak to your friends: but not about their bad deliveries! Ask friends who had straight forward deliveries to tell you in more detail how it all went and what their coping strategies were.

Get your birthing partner on board now: make sure that whoever is going to be with you when you deliver the baby understands your anxiety. They need to know that you will need lots of support and encouragement on the day. A few reassuring words can make all the difference if your self-belief starts to flag.

Watch One Born Every Minute: the first delivery you watch might make your eyes water a bit - but not half as much as they'll be watering when you see the joy on that mother's face when she meets her baby!

Change your focus: stop thinking so much about the actual pain of labour. You didn't get pregnant to experience discomfort, you got pregnant to have a baby. The process of labour is your last hurdle before the very exciting moment when you get to meet your child. Focus on that both now and when you are in labour.